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here is our space. here is our thoughts, in free form, flowing blissfully and boundlessly in hopes of it being collected in the stream of our consciousness of who we are and where we are to be. tell the untold stories. share the veiled but present traditions. what does it mean to be "other"? what does it mean to be Southeast Asian Americans, who had our very roots tied and bounded by the invisible streaks of a historical war, the VietNam War, striving to grow in a country, we now call our own, America?

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Friday, May 12, 2006

The Scowl

by Timothy Aung

Weekend was here and I was ready to battle with the wind flying my kite. Just when I was half way out the door, I heard the dreaded voice of my grandfather calling me to see him. He was sitting alone at the dark corner of the room. I slowly walked toward him, filled with dread at the implications. All I knew was that my grandfather rarely talks to the kids and when he does it is usually about punishment.

Not sure how to act around him, I looked at him questioningly.

“I need you to go to the market and buy two cakes”, he ordered. He then went back to his regular routine of brooding in the dark corner.

As I went outside, I looked at the blue sky and the trees swaying slowly with the wind. This mission isn’t going to be too hard at all I thought to myself. So I slowly pranced and danced along the dusty road to the destination, the market. Periodically I pulled a flower or two from the bushes and kick some random objects lying on the ground.

The market was a chaos of people. The smell of many different things at the same time was overpowering. There was the musky smell of the horse carriages, the wonderful smell of curry dishes served by sullen ladies, and the odor of unwashed kids screaming at each other.

I scanned around the crowd trying to find the lady who was selling the cakes. After a few moments pushing through the noisy bickering people, I located the woman.

She was chatting with another seller beside her and didn’t notice little ole me standing at her stall. Her neighbor noticed me and pointed a finger at me. She was chewing some beetle nut and turned toward me looking annoyed as if she was unhappy to see a customer. She narrowed her eyes and suddenly spit red on the ground beside her.

“What do you want boy?” she demanded.

“Err, could I have 2 cakes please”, I stammered timidly. At the same time I said this, I can’t help but notice the ugly red stains the beetle nut did to her teeth.

By the time I was done paying and was holding my cakes tied with nylon strips, I was ready to get this mission over with. The throng of people was starting to get nauseating and I was missing my place at the spacious park.

So with the vision of the beautiful park in my mind, I started to increase my pace from walking to a half run. Just as everything was turning out good, in my haste to go home, I failed to notice a branch lying innocently on the ground. The result was me stumbling and tumbling on the dusty ground with a thud.

As I quickly stood up, I did not feel the pains from my bruised knees. I stared agape at the two cakes lying overturned on the ground. By the look of it, they must have rolled a couple times, collecting plenty of dirt.

At that moment I was afraid to go back home, frightened to face the wrath of my grandfather. I didn’t want to suffer from one of his famous torturous speeches or the painful bamboo stick spanking.

I sat on the ground for a few minutes nearing tears, not sure whether to run away from home or to face punishment. After a few minutes I sighed with acceptance, quickly tried to rub the dirt from the cakes and walked miserably towards the house.

As soon as I entered the house, I quickly shuffled to my grandfather, handed him the cakes then fled the scene in the best discrete manner I could muster.

Before I got a foot out the door, I heard a yell behind me.
“What is this!” my grandfather exclaimed.

I gulped. Not sure of the impeding doom that was sure to arrive swiftly.
“I don’t like the taste of sand in my cakes”, he looked at me menacingly. I was sure he would pull out the dreaded bamboo stick which was conveniently laying beside the chair.
“I slipped and fell grandfather” I meekly spoke, shifting my feet back and forth uncomfortably.

“What now? You need to go pee or what?” he asked me noticing my discomfort.

“No, I’m just scared”, I told him honestly.

My grandfather was quiet for a few moments. He looked at me hard and handed money to me.
“Go buy me another two cakes”, he asked me gruffly, “and this time you better not drop it”, he told me with a threatening tone.

I was stunned at the narrow escape from punishment. Feeling a strange sense of elation, I quickly sped out the door. So much was I in a hurry to buy the new cakes that I didn’t notice my aunts giggling behind me.

The legendary scowl lives on.

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